And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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