she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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