Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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