I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
