she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
third nipple confirmed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
A bitchslap is in order.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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