thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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