i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
