youre lurking in front of me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
