Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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