sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
