I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
