but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
