I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
