It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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