I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
