Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
