my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
