dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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