i don't like sucking hair
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
