She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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