Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Randomize
