Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
