My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
