Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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