thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
