I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
