Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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