I'm jealous of your bromance
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She told me I should be a condom model.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
