why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
