Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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