Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I smell stomach acid.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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