are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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