you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
