It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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