I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize