Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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