dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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