I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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