I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
