Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
