Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
