dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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