just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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