I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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