But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
