The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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