Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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