Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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