I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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