dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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