People in love make me want to vomit
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
