...so i touched it.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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