My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
