his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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