he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
