I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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