yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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