just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's official drugs can't kill me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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