If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Randomize
