I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
