lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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