I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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