it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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