Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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